Where do I begin? I guess for starters, these past couple months have been AMAZING. I got back into town after a lot of my friends had gone home for the summer. I anticipated it being really lonely and boring and that I'd spend most of it at home watching TV when I wasn't working. Although I have spent a good deal of time at home I have also been so blessed to find that this summer was far from lonely, anything but boring, and chock full of great friends and endless laughter.
As some of you know I challenged myself to go beyond my comfort zone the last three months. Basically, as long as it wouldn't severely interfere with being responsible about getting to work at 5am, whenever the opportunity came up to spend time with friends, I would take it. I tend to be a bit of a homebody when I'm tired and that causes me to allow my natural tendency to be lazy and antisocial to grow into something ugly.
I am an extrovert, but I have discovered that after a long day at work I revert to my introverted side with almost a deliriously joyous glee and relish. I finally bought myself a guitar, so now I can play more than just when I'm back home in New York. I have played more in the past couple weeks than I have in the past two years combined. Not that it means much because I haven't really improved at all, but it has brightened my overall mood considerably. If I go too long without belting show tunes at the top of my lungs, playing guitar, or spilling my guts on paper or computer, I feel really tense and stressed and grumpy and not a soul likes me much during those times. :P
I am an extrovert, but I have discovered that after a long day at work I revert to my introverted side with almost a deliriously joyous glee and relish. I finally bought myself a guitar, so now I can play more than just when I'm back home in New York. I have played more in the past couple weeks than I have in the past two years combined. Not that it means much because I haven't really improved at all, but it has brightened my overall mood considerably. If I go too long without belting show tunes at the top of my lungs, playing guitar, or spilling my guts on paper or computer, I feel really tense and stressed and grumpy and not a soul likes me much during those times. :P
It didn't take long for God to make it quite clear He had a whole lot of good stuff in store for me.
Example one: I love my job! My coworkers are a blast to work with, and I leave with a grin on my face almost every day. I had been pretty mehh about my previous job situation, but this position has been like a breath of fresh air, and a major answer to prayer. Yes, it consists mainly of shifts beginning at 5:00 AM, but usually weekdays don't have a whole lot of parties going on anyway. ;)
Example two: My friends are some of the most legit people I have ever known. I had a few conversations that put a lot of the things I have been thinking and struggling with into perspective. If there's anything that helps turn your attitude around, it is a frank discussion with somebody who has already gone through the place you're in, survived, and loves to help others avoid the mistakes they have made.
Example one: I love my job! My coworkers are a blast to work with, and I leave with a grin on my face almost every day. I had been pretty mehh about my previous job situation, but this position has been like a breath of fresh air, and a major answer to prayer. Yes, it consists mainly of shifts beginning at 5:00 AM, but usually weekdays don't have a whole lot of parties going on anyway. ;)
Example two: My friends are some of the most legit people I have ever known. I had a few conversations that put a lot of the things I have been thinking and struggling with into perspective. If there's anything that helps turn your attitude around, it is a frank discussion with somebody who has already gone through the place you're in, survived, and loves to help others avoid the mistakes they have made.
Example three: My family is precious and I love them immensely. I was so grateful that almost the whole family was able to come visit for my birthday. I spent several days at the beach with my mother and sisters, and it was rejuvenating. We sat on the boardwalk talking about life, its trials, and its triumphs. It sounds counter-intuitive but sometimes having standards can make life feel more discouraging. It was so sweet to see how God is shaping and growing my baby sisters into such wise and mature people with a real heart for seeking truth and justice despite how hard life can be when you're not sure what the right choice is. It helps to be reminded that family loves you regardless of where you're at in life.
There are a bunch more wonderful little tidbits, but some are the kind of special that you keep to yourself in a happy little corner of your heart. :)
Overall I feel like I've grown-up a lot. There is still a long way to go, but I'm pretty sure any start is better than none at all. I have my faith, family, friends, and a couple dreams in my pocket and some words of wisdom on my sleeve. There is a peace about life that I really haven't felt before. I see more potential around me on a daily basis, I'm more hopeful, I feel more optimistic, and I have a sense of purpose I don't think I had previously. I have had a bad tendency to make snap-judgments in my life, and I've seen how that has hurt several of my friendships in the past, so that was something I've really wanted to get rid of. I think I've made progress in being more relaxed about the differences I have with people. I've always been non-confrontational, but I think practicing being non-judgmental has been a much harder journey than I anticipated. Little by little!
There is still a lot up-in-the-air about the future, but the possibilities are endless. What better time is there than now to dream big, love life, and learn how to make mistakes than when a wonderful group of friends have your back and are on your side? It's refreshing to feel the freedom to spread your wings and know that if it doesn't work out you have people to help you back up when you hit the ground.
For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I love my life. And I love that! :)
There are a bunch more wonderful little tidbits, but some are the kind of special that you keep to yourself in a happy little corner of your heart. :)
Overall I feel like I've grown-up a lot. There is still a long way to go, but I'm pretty sure any start is better than none at all. I have my faith, family, friends, and a couple dreams in my pocket and some words of wisdom on my sleeve. There is a peace about life that I really haven't felt before. I see more potential around me on a daily basis, I'm more hopeful, I feel more optimistic, and I have a sense of purpose I don't think I had previously. I have had a bad tendency to make snap-judgments in my life, and I've seen how that has hurt several of my friendships in the past, so that was something I've really wanted to get rid of. I think I've made progress in being more relaxed about the differences I have with people. I've always been non-confrontational, but I think practicing being non-judgmental has been a much harder journey than I anticipated. Little by little!
There is still a lot up-in-the-air about the future, but the possibilities are endless. What better time is there than now to dream big, love life, and learn how to make mistakes than when a wonderful group of friends have your back and are on your side? It's refreshing to feel the freedom to spread your wings and know that if it doesn't work out you have people to help you back up when you hit the ground.
For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I love my life. And I love that! :)