Perseverance.

Persevere. Verb.
     1) Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.


Sometimes it really hurts to persevere.
After a door has been closed and the key to the now locked door has been thrown away, it feels silly to keep pursuing a goal or look for new ways to make something happen.


I have major issues with pride and stubbornness. I hate to be wrong, and would much rather sarcastically quip my way out of an argument, and I'd rather put up a tough front than actually admit something or someone has hurt me.


Recently, a door closed on me even as I was trying to walk through the doorway. It hurts to find out something you've been hoping for isn't going to happen, and it hurts even more when the door wasn't even slammed in your face, but instead you were ushered kindly out of the way so as not to get your fingers caught. Not that it hurts any less.


Something about being let down sticks with you no matter how nicely you were told. Something about harboring no ill feelings towards whoever brings you the news makes healing from the hurt harder. If you are able to feel angry about something, you can rationalize your pain more easily. But if there is no reason to be mad, the healing takes longer, but the wound can heal with time. It may leave a scar, but that scar won't keep being picked off every time the urge to relive a memory comes. Surface level pain heals quickly, and eventually you forget. Deep pain can scar, but you keep the lessons learned with you.

Psalm 107:19-20

     Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. 

Although the distress of the moment feels overwhelming, and the pain sometimes feel like an inner destruction, I know God has me taken care of. 

My fear doesn't negate His power. 

My shortcomings don't make Him weak.

My anxiety and worry do not lessen His strength.

I have to remember to let myself feel loved by Him.

I have to rely on nothing but Him when I feel small.

I have control not over what happens, but how I respond.

I can't allow myself to wake up in the morning and focus on my flaws.

I can't let myself get caught up in my insecurities.

I can't look in the mirror and feel like God didn't do a good enough job on me.

If I let worry, fear, stress, and doubt consume my thoughts, I leave no room to dwell on His promises that He will never leave me, never forsake me, and never give me more than I can bear.

I fall short, but He does not.

I fall down, and He picks me up.

I fall away, and He draws me back to Himself.

His grace and mercy will continue.

His love and kindness will continue.

His patience and generosity will continue.

Who am I to doubt when He has always been faithful?

Ebullience... pass it around.

ebullience. noun. 

     1) high spirits; exhilaration; exuberance. 

     2) a boiling over; overflow.

What does it mean to have joy? To be grateful? To appreciate the moments in life that only come around once in a while?

How do we recognize when those moments are in our midst? What do we do in response to the acts of kindness and sweet words we receive from a friend?

Do we nod politely, say thank you, and go on our way? Are we cordial and gracious and forget about it tomorrow?

Or are we overwhelmed that somebody took time out of their day to think of us? Do we express gratitude in the way we live our lives? Is our thankfulness radiating from the smile on our face?

Why don't we get excited about the things that make us happy? Is it because we're afraid our ebullience will scare off someone who doesn't get it? Are we so concerned about the opinion somebody may have of us that we harness and hide the enthusiasm and delight a happy moment brings us?

I feel like there's a time and a place for ebullience. There are moments when jumping up and down with glee is appropriate. There are times when we need to be still, and times when being still should be a crime. 

Our joy in Christ should be ebullient. It should boil over. It should fill us up with an exhilaration and exuberance that we cannot help but overflow onto those around us. His love was not given to us for us to store up in a little treasure chest beneath our bed. His love was given freely and abundantly so we could turn it around and give it back to Him. Our love should be spilling over the brim of the cup He has so graciously continued to fill onto everyone around us. Whether we know them or not, we should never be hiding the ebullience that God gives us when we want to know Him and share our thirst for Him with all of the people we meet.